Sonos CEO Says Play:5 Owners Can “Go Fuck Themselves”

NEW YORK – During a private meeting with investors and tech press in New York, Sonos CEO Patrick Spence made the revelation that according to the company’s internal data most, if not all, Play:5 owners were “complete assholes.” “We’ve run the numbers internally enough to know that anyone buying a $500 speaker is a complete asshole. The data also suggests they would also drive a BMW and don’t use turn signals at intersections,” Spence said frankly. When asked if Play:5 speakers would be updated to include updates for digital assistants like Amazon Alexa and Google Home Spence stated “No. Anyone who bought a Play:5 can go fuck themselves.” Spense went on to say Sonos will continue to be industry leaders in the connected smart speaker space.

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